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what makes a good friendship/relationship?


BurningAngel

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Administrator

Actually giving a crap about the wellbeing about the other person. I mean, like actually giving up your time to hear them out when they’re feeling low even if you could be doing something else.

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Signs of a good friendship:

  1. They're selfless
  2. They listen to when you need to vent and don't pass judgmental remarks
  3. They don't gaslight or downplay valid concerns
  4. They don't turn the situation and make it about them
  5. They're honest and truthful and tell you what you need to hear even if you're in denial
  6. They're empathetic
  7. They look out for you
  8. They respect your mental health
  9. They appreciate you and your time
  10. They check in on you every once in a while
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Administrator

Revisiting again.

The past six weeks of holidays got me feeling quite reflective as I spent most of my time trapped in doors due to shite weather and feeling angsty. I was thinking about what people mean to be and it's crazy how people can have a huge impact on you. Some people I've lost connection with due to a common item holding us together being lost (could be music, video game etc) and it makes me wonder if the friendship wasn't as close as I believed it to be.

But I think if you have a good friendship/relationship with someone, you feel comfortable around them and they make you happy.

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  • 3 months later...
  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I've been watching the drama unfold between my partner's sister and her partner. For context, he's already had another kid with another woman and refused to pay child allowance. He kept it a secret from his new partner. When she found out, she kicked him out. But they're drawn to each other like moths to a flame. What do they lack? Proper communicatiom.

Miscommunication will happen. We're all imperfect humans and we make mistakes continously. Miscommunication via text is common across all generations because it is difficult to pick up tone from written words. I've taught many kids who could not pick up tone (especially sarcasm) from written text and this can easily escalate into drama. It's very easy to take text in the unintended direction and blow it up into something else that only creates further tension. We also need to consider different cultural backgrounds and upbringings that can shape how we take meaning from language.

But communication is key. Do not:

  • lay the blame on the other person (eg. Why are you so uncaring? I do so much for you and this is how you treat me?)
  • immediately assume they're making a personal attack (eg. Why do you think such negative thing about me?)
  • assume they're mentally ill or stupid (eg. Are you stupid? Everyone else can understand so why can't you?)

Instead, be a logcal mature adult, show empathy and talk it out over phone, video or in person. Healthy friendships/relationships survive because of positive communication. The goal is to solve the issue and prevent it from happening again. This is how relationships progress.

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